yuck

You know, I'm just really having a hard time. I've been using a temp agency to help me find a job. In the past this one particular agency I have worked with has been very successful for me. So when I found myself looking for a job I decided to use them again. They are very quick to get my resumes out to as many businesses as possible and set up interviews etc. I was really enjoying this last place they had me at. Today they decided they did not need me anymore. I guess that is one of the risky things about starting as a temp and then getting hired permanently. I've never had a problem before though. Generally I have found a good position, did my temp 90 days and been immediately hired on permanently. I guess that wasn't the case this time. On Friday Caden's teacher called me in the middle of the day and said he was sick and needed to leave school. I handled it on my lunch break and it did not interfere whatsoever with my job duties. I guess that because I answered my cell phone it was an issue. Normally I would never have answered a personal call at work but I did see it was my child's teacher and thought I should see what she needed. The teacher never ever calls unless there is a problem. Anyhow, it ended with them notifying my agency they didn't need me anymore. I thought it was really silly. They said a few other things that didn't make any sense either. I guess it just wasn't meant for me. I have never had trouble finding or keeping a job before. I am actually a very good employee. I don't understand why I'm having such a hard time lately. My dad says it's because we are in a reccession. Whatever the case may be I am AGAIN looking for job. I applied for about 10 jobs today thru the Oklahoman and the agency is looking for something also. I'm sure something will pan out soon but now I have a major case of paranoia. I just don't understand why it's so hard all of a sudden. I'm pretty bummed out. Seems like lately I have so many people telling me that I am just not good enough. I've never really been good enough for my dad. My mom's family thinks I'm not good enough to be a real part of their family. Earlier this month I was fired and told I wasn't the right fit for their company, again not good enough. Now, because I had to be a responsible parent for taking a teacher's call I'm again not good enough. I think it's all a bunch of hooey. Frankly I'm quite frustrated. I just feel side swiped by life at the moment. I could use a prayer or two if any of you have a moment to ask God to help me out. I need to have a job to help my family survive. I need to have a job to set a good example for my kids. I need to have a job to relieve some of the stress Chris feels by supporting us by himself. I need to have a job to feel better about myself and know that I am a productive member of society. I am so freaking frustrated. It seems like the harder I try the worse things get! When it rains it pours or in my case makes a hurricane. I hope tomorrow is a better day. I hope the following weeks are better. I could really use some of God's blessings and a little good luck on my side. At least I know that there are people out there that do like me. I just can't figure out what is going on here. I'm stuck at the bottom of a big pit and I'm clawing to get out. I really hope that things start going my way soon. I'm depressed now. :(