You know what?

I have spent the whole day crying about my grandma. She is weak and suffering and I will lose her soon. Her brother passed away and today was his funeral. I couldn't be there with her because I'm only 1 1/2 weeks into my new job. They said I could go, but with my grandma being so bad I thought I had better save the leave in case I need it for her. I've been so sad all day. She forgot who I was which nearly killed me. She keeps asking to "go home". My grandma is my hero. She is a woman who refuses to accept weakness and has never allowed herself to be so. Now she is so weak and fragile and there is nothing she can do about it. She would rather go on to meet the Lord than to live this way. She misses my grandpa. This day has sucked and then sucked some more. I feel guilty for not being at that funeral with her. I feel guilty for not even being there to give her a hug. She is one of the most important people in my life and I am not sure what I will do without her. Sad songs kept coming on the radio at work. There was this one country song (I don't normally listen to country unless I'm a little depressed) about this old woman in a nursing home and her daughter went buy to brush her hair and remind her that she is someone's hero. Waterworks. Everyone at my new job thought I was a basketcase today. I should have just left rather to appear crazy. Anyway, I moment ago I was looking at my myspace page and noticed the Daily Bible Verse I have on it. It was the right verse for the right moment and made my heart a little lighter. "Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:9

So there you have it people. Be strong and courageous. The Lord is with you. Even on a weepy sad day when your heart breaks for someone you love. There's always a reason. There's a plan bigger than we can see. The Lord knows when her time is right and he already just told me that I have no reason to be afraid because he is holding my hand. Yours too.