:)

I really appreciate my husband. He has really stepped up and taken care of his family in their time of need. I've had a difficult time dealing with my MIL's death. I feel a lot of regret for the relationship I didn't have with her. When I was younger I was irritated by a lot of things with her. I was too foolish and impatient to look past them. Then when we found out she was sick it explained a lot of her weird quirks. By the time I understood her well enough to really value her she was too sick to for me to do the things with her I'd always wanted to. I never got to take her shopping or go out for coffee or get to know her on a personal level. I feel very ashamed that I didn't appreciate her and take the time to build a relationship with her when I had the chance to. She had always wanted to have a daughter and I would have loved to been a "daughter" to her. There are a few times that I did get to spend one on one time with her and I will always cherish that. But it wasn't near enough. I have learned quite a lesson. I don't think that I will ever feel less ashamed for taking her for granted. Everyone I've ever known always thinks their in-laws are weird in some way or another, but I feel like I didn't really give her a chance. That wasn't fair. She was a very kind lady. Even when her alzheimers was very advanced she was never mean or hateful. She always had a gentleness about her. It's been hard to watch my husband lose his mother and my children lose their grandmother. I hope that as my kids get older I can help them remember what a lovely lady she was. It's always hard to lose someone when we know we didn't appreciate them enough or take the time to let them in. I should have been more patient with her. I said alot of things when she got sick about how she should be taken care of and how they should deal with her disease. In the end, her family did the right thing and gave her the care and love she deserved. I regret thinking that I knew what was best for her when I clearly did not.

I can't say enough how much I appreciate my husband. He has never tried to keep me from being close with my family or with his. I've had friends whose spouses get in the way with their relationship with their parents/siblings or inlaws. Chris has never told me how to interpret my experiences growing up with my parents and he has never done anything but encourage me to have a relationship with his parents and grandparents. A husband has such a huge influence over his wife. I'm glad that he has never taken advantage of that influence. It's easy for a husband to manipulate his wife's emotions towards other people. I've met plenty of women that don't like someone just because their husband doesn't like them. I think it's also easy to cause tension between someone and their parents because their spouse won't give them a chance. I'm glad that Chris has embraced my parents. I think it would be hard to maintain such a close relationship with my mom and dad if my husband wasn't willing to let them be a part of his life too. I'm very blessed. I can't explain how lucky and undeserving I feel to have such an amazing family, both the family I was born into and the family I married into. I married a really wonderful man who encourages me to appreciate my family and spend time with them. (Even when he gets a little jealous of my time with them sometimes.) :)