2007 In Review:

This has been a year of tremendous loss and tremendous growth. I have confronted several issues both in the world and inside myself. I guess all one can hope for in any given year is to learn some new things. I have certainly done that this year.

In 2007 we lost Chris's grandfather. He was a strong man who had lived a long life. He had some of the most interesting stories about surviving WWII or growing up during the depression. His hands had weathered many years of hard labor. He had seen things that no one should have to see. He was an example of what all man can endure and still come out with a kind and generous heart. His trials did not harden him, but made him more thankful for every blessing he had. He had a passion for life that was inspiring.

We also lost one of our very best friends this year in May. I had no idea how much this one event would change my life, but it did nonetheless. Derrick was the kind of guy that would give you everything he had even if he had nothing. He never wanted to inconvenience anyone. He was always the first person to say he was sorry if anything went wrong. From the day I met him, he never treated me like I was Myers girlfriend/wife. We had a friendship of our own. I have so many good memories of Derrick and the times we had together. Like most of the people who have been a part of my life for the last 8 years he came as part of a package deal. I didn't just get Chris. I got Chris and all his childhood friends. 8 years ago I would have never guessed how thankful I would be to have them all. When Derrick died the world stood still for the first time in a very very long time. Losing a such a good friend in such a tragic way has changed the way I look at almost everything. If I can say that anything good has come from losing a friend it's that I will never again make the mistake of not noticing what's going on around me. I will miss Derrick forever and I hope the lesson of losing him stays with me just as long. I would give anything to be able to change the way things turned out with him. I also vowed to always be a better friend.

The most important thing that has happened in my life this year is that life has slowed down. I really took the time to get my priorities in order. I did a lot of soul searching, a lot of praying, and a lot of growing up. I learned how devasting it can be to have toxic people in my life, and how rewarding it can be to cut them out. It's hard to just kick people out of your life, but sometimes it's just for the greater good. I embraced the fact that my family is my biggest passion and searched for ways to strengthen my part as a wife, mother, daughter, niece, cousin, etc. Nothing is more important to me than my family and I want every ounce of my life to contribute to that. I also saw a very protective and somewhat ugly side of myself when I felt as though my family was threatened. For a moment in my life I felt capable of really horrible behavior to protect everything I love. Now I know why it's so much more dangerous to encounter wild animals in the woods when it's a mother with her babies. What I lack in muscle I could have made up for in heart. LOL.

Life has moved so fast over the last decade that I cut corners almost everywhere in my life. I recognize the repercussions of that now. There is no substitute for slowing down enough to do things right the first time around. I was able to spend some extra time with my children this year while I spent some time enjoying unemployment. My children taught me more about myself in 6 months than I could have ever imagined. They forced me to really look at myself, my behavior, my thoughts, my attitude, and how it effects those around me. I had to confront some ugly things about myself, which was hard, but hopefully it made me a better person and a better mother. My children are the greatest treasure I could have ever recieved. I am so thankful for them and the innocent beauty they bring to my life. They are growing so fast! They are growing faster than I can grow with them!

2007 has been quite a year inside my head. I don't feel at all that I am the same person I was when the year started. It just feels like I'm looking at the world through different eyes. I'm happy. My family is happy. My husband and children love me. I really couldn't ask for more. The best piece of advice I received this year was, "Be still and listen." The whole world can change if you stand still for just a moment. The voice God put inside my heart is louder than ever and I'm learning to listen. So all in all, I'm thankful for everything I learned this year. I will always miss the loved ones we lost in 2007 but I'm thankful for the time I was able to share with them. I hope in 2008 I can continue my journey of personal growth and remain truly aware of who I am and how I effect others in my life. Hopefully I will move the people I love in positive ways. I still say I was intended to be a hippie just born a little too late. :)