Just a thought

After listening to a co-worker whine about his childhood today my mind was sparked. I sat patiently listening and offering some encouraging advice, but that isn’t what I really wanted to do. I wanted to say, “Stop whining that your childhood wasn’t perfect. No ones childhood is perfect. You should just be happy that you had parents that loved you and looked out for you. Not everyone has parents that care so much. And furthermore it is ridiculous to expect perfection from your parents. We don’t know what we are doing. Every stage in our child’s life is new to us too. We are figuring it out right along with you. 99% of parents are trying as hard as they can and doing things the only way they know how to help you survive in life. So quit bitching and send your parents some flowers for being so unreasonable.”

Had this conversation taken place before I had children I might have been whining too, but motherhood has given me a new perspective. I have to admit that I have no idea what I am doing as a parent. Sometimes I look at my children and think, “How did I get put in charge? I’m not qualified for this!” I know that there will come a day when my children tell me that I did everything wrong and on that day my world will shatter. After I piece myself back together I will just remind them gently that from the moment they were conceived I did everything I could to help them be healthy, happy and successful people. I am quite tired of hearing co-workers and friends and people on TV whine about how their failures or disappointments stem from bad parenting. Everyone is looking to blame someone else. At what point will people realize that we are all responsible for our own feelings and decisions? I dropped out of college. Is that my parents fault? Nope. It’s my fault for being so concerned with self gratification. There are far too many children in this world who are beaten and neglected. Many of them rise above it and counsel other children in the same situation. Why? Because they choose to recognize that their life is what THEY make it. I will do all that I can for my children, but in the end it up to them whether they make good choices and behave like good people. Parenting is a really tough job. It’s the hardest job on the planet to be responsible for ushering a child into adulthood. So, to my co-workers, friends and people on TV cut your parents some slack. If you think you can do a better job than they did, great, you’ll see how hard it is when you try parenting for yourself. And most likely you will then realize that you have been acting like a jackass and owe someone an apology.