Blossum

I am the only person in my house. If you listen closely you know what there is to hear? Silence! It's amazing. I have had many posts written out in my head over the last week but no time to write one. I'm enjoying spring and the flow of life right now. We don't spend much time at home, but the activities filling up life are fun. Caden's t-ball has been great. Chris plays ball one or two nights a week. We usually have a movie night if we are home. There has been lots of fishing and boating going on. Not much cleaning or laundry and lots of outside. That is the perfect life that I'm going to ride out for now until it all comes crashing down in one giant pile of chores.

I have decided that I am a late bloomer. While I was involved in a lot of activities growing up I was still quite unsure of myself. I've been going thru this thing of trying to figure out my place in the world. At 18 I felt my place in the world was to be a wife and a mother. Now that I have acheived that, I realize that I have found my place in my family but the world is a much much bigger thing. Clearly at 18 you just don't have the tools to adequately see your place in the world, but don't try to convince any 18 year olds of that. I wouldn't have listened. It's great to finally be in a place where the insecurities of just starting out on my own are fading and I feel like I have established myself as an adult. There was a time in my life I didn't think I'd ever be as self confident as some of the people I knew. There were a few friends I had in high school and in college that just oozed with self assuredness. I was envious of that. Now, while I do try to remain with some tact, I pretty much say or do as I feel and don't let people scare me out of it. My etiquette isn't always perfect, sometimes I still act like a child, I still stick my foot in my mouth (often), and "occasionally" I do stupid things. I think I thought feeling like a real adult meant conquering that stuff, but as many adults as I have spent time with now I realize that being an adult is not exactly what I thought it was supposed to be. So I've decided that I am a daughter, neice, cousin, wife, mother, in law, friend, sister (by choice), customer, patient, employee, driver, listener, caregiver, dreamer, lover, liver, doer, hoper, boater, fisher, writer, reader, owner, cleaner, among many many other things including a "real grown up". What a milestone. :)