Conversations that took place in my life today:
Caden:"Macy come here. Let me give you a kiss."
Macy:"No Caden! Leave me alone!"
Caden:"Come on Macy. I'm your brother give me just one kiss and a hug."
Macy:"No Caden!! I told you to leave me alone! You're just trying to wipe a booger on me!"
Mommy:(just actually registering the backseat conversation)Caden is that true?
Caden:(laughter)"Yeah, I'm trying to wipe my booger on her. I don't eat mine like she does."
Macy: "When I marry Luke I'm going to have a baby brother and a baby sister."
Mommy: "No Macy. When you have babies they will be your sons and daughters. If I have babies they will be your brother or sister."
Caden: "Will Harley (our male boxer) have babies?"
Mommy: "No Harley will not have babies. Only girls can HAVE babies. Boys can be Dads but they can't actually have the baby."
Caden: "Are you sure? Because Daddy's belly is pretty big. It looks like he is going to have a baby."
Today has been an interesting day. My children keep me on my toes. Today I also refrained from being a "psycho mom" which I freqently refer to. As my temper flared I reminded myself how much I run my mouth about learning my lesson about being an overzealous parent. One of my favorite words is "inappropriate". A fellow Tball mom acted quite inappropriately and I felt a deep temptation to shove her down the bleachers and give her my full blown opinion. I held my tongue though. It was quite difficult. If the truth be known, I actually did not blow up at her because I didn't want to embarass my child. Not because it was the mature thing to do. Maturity is over rated. LOL. Nevertheless I did a noble thing by engaging my vocal emergency brake. As a woman, when your children are involved it creates such a high sensitivity level and intense protective nature. Nature vs. Nurture. Today the nurture side won, but it's awfully hard to fight off that instinctive nature to be alpha mom. Ugh. Alpha mom. What a ugly thing. I prefer to rule the pride with my essence. LMAO.
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Pictures from Spring Break
Over Spring Break we spent several days at the farm. One day we spent the day fishing the farm pond. The next day we went to Konowa lake. The next day we went to Wetumka lake. By then I was ready to go home. My sunburn was ridiculous and I was tired of being trapped on a boat with 2 kids and a dog. Here are the pictures I took. We had a really good time and the kids are great fishermen. It turns out that Harley is an excellent boater. He acted like he had been on a boat a million times. He is such a great dog. In fact he behaved better than the children. LOL.
Tonight is Caden's first Tball game of the season. I can't wait to post pictures. Their uniforms this year are awesome.
Oh, and I saw Daniel on his way out of town today. I'm really proud of him. He's a strong man. I talked to Jason last night for over an hour. I really enjoyed my conversation with him. Every member of this family is so incredibly priceless to me. I love you all! I hope you enjoy these pictures. That is all for now.
Tonight is Caden's first Tball game of the season. I can't wait to post pictures. Their uniforms this year are awesome.
Oh, and I saw Daniel on his way out of town today. I'm really proud of him. He's a strong man. I talked to Jason last night for over an hour. I really enjoyed my conversation with him. Every member of this family is so incredibly priceless to me. I love you all! I hope you enjoy these pictures. That is all for now.
Friday, March 13, 2009
Love me without limit
I was having a converstaion with a friend the other day and she said, "We only give each other the good parts of us....." Now that I think about it, she's right. It's natural human nature to promote the best parts of us to other people and do our best to hide the bad parts. There is good and bad in all of us. I don't know why we all try so hard to pretend like we are only the good parts. Bad things happen when we keep secrets. I guess I've always felt like if people know the bad stuff about me they might stop loving me. Which brings me to my ultimate question. How do you be unconditional? One of the lessons I remember most from church is to love unconditionally and leave the judgement to God. I'm going to be very honest for a few minutes. I left the church when I was 21. And I left it because of numerous expereinces that still sting to this day. Was it the right way to deal with the pain those church people caused me? No, probably not. But it's the action that I took at that time and it's something I'm trying to sort through. If you want to know the story I will be happy to tell you. Anyhow, I've learned over and over how to be conditional. I had a best friend (or so I thought) growing up that only loved me and stood by me when I was doing what she felt was appropriate. Any mistakes out of me and her back was turned. I experienced this time and time again with my church family too. As long as you are on the straight and narrow we accept you or "Oh you made a mistake? You are out on your own and I can't be seen talking to you or people will think I'm a sinner too." As you can tell I still harbor some bitterness. God and I are working through that together. I'm almost 30 now and it still hurts as bad as the day it happened. Well anyway, my question is how to be unconditional. I think this is a question that our entire family is facing right now and I would like to know how this is supposed to be done.
Webster's Dictionary defines "Unconditional" as absolute or without limit. It is not often in life that we come across people who truly love us unconditionally. No matter how loved or supported we feel there is always a nagging question in the back of the mind that says "If I share all my bad parts with them too are they going to leave me?" Most of us would rather be loved conditionally than not loved at all. I think that's true whether people admit it or not. That's why we drag out all these relationships that are bad for us. We know beter but we do anyway because we want to be loved. In all those sermons I sat thru telling me that christians love one another unconditionally, etc....I don't think that one time it was ever explained to me how to carry that out. How do I love you uncondtionally but still demand to be repected? How do I love you without limit but do not allow you to use me? How do you disagree with someone actions but not let it effect your love for them? I know that our family is going thru a very difficult time right now. I try to seek out the meaning in things. Perhaps this is my opportunity to learn how to truly practice this unconditional love I've been instructed to carry out my entire life. With all of us finding ourselves on the side of the situation that we do perhaps we can help each other love our family member without limit while disagreeing with certain actions at the same time.
I tend to share the best parts of me too. Just so you know I have a horrible temper. I yell too much. I am impatient. I gossip. Sometimes I judge people and I know I shouldn't. Sometimes I say more than I am entitled to and I don't feel guily about it. There. Now you know a few of my bad parts too. If I listed them all the internet would run out of space. It is my hopes to share all of who I am with the people in my life. Whether it is the pleasant stuff or the nitty gritty. I am who I am. Maybe if I give you all of me you will either love me wholly or not all all. Anything in between just isn't worth it.
Webster's Dictionary defines "Unconditional" as absolute or without limit. It is not often in life that we come across people who truly love us unconditionally. No matter how loved or supported we feel there is always a nagging question in the back of the mind that says "If I share all my bad parts with them too are they going to leave me?" Most of us would rather be loved conditionally than not loved at all. I think that's true whether people admit it or not. That's why we drag out all these relationships that are bad for us. We know beter but we do anyway because we want to be loved. In all those sermons I sat thru telling me that christians love one another unconditionally, etc....I don't think that one time it was ever explained to me how to carry that out. How do I love you uncondtionally but still demand to be repected? How do I love you without limit but do not allow you to use me? How do you disagree with someone actions but not let it effect your love for them? I know that our family is going thru a very difficult time right now. I try to seek out the meaning in things. Perhaps this is my opportunity to learn how to truly practice this unconditional love I've been instructed to carry out my entire life. With all of us finding ourselves on the side of the situation that we do perhaps we can help each other love our family member without limit while disagreeing with certain actions at the same time.
I tend to share the best parts of me too. Just so you know I have a horrible temper. I yell too much. I am impatient. I gossip. Sometimes I judge people and I know I shouldn't. Sometimes I say more than I am entitled to and I don't feel guily about it. There. Now you know a few of my bad parts too. If I listed them all the internet would run out of space. It is my hopes to share all of who I am with the people in my life. Whether it is the pleasant stuff or the nitty gritty. I am who I am. Maybe if I give you all of me you will either love me wholly or not all all. Anything in between just isn't worth it.