Just so you all know.......

I didn't post my "I miss my family" blog to any particular person. It was really just a way of me saying that I miss the old days and it isn't the same now. And it was me saying that since my mom's family makes me feel akward I can understand others in the same position. So I hope that I personally have not make anyone to feel akward or like an outsider. I've learned thru unfortunate experience that proximity should not determine your ranking in a family. So if you live far away like Phil's family does, or Meredith does, etc. you are still important and I miss sharing time with you. It really really hurts when things happen in my mom's family that are important and I don't feel included in sharing it with them (even when I'm actually there). Like at my grandma's funeral I knew that somewhere deep down those people still love the little girl I was when I WAS around. I don't blame them for not knowing how to hug me or say personal things, because I had indeed become a stranger. There are things that I do blame them for which are silliness and I should just get over because I do love them very much and it's useless to waste my time on hurt. But I'm not writing this to prescribe myself my own medicine. LOL. JK. I no longer hold on to any hurt or pain. It doesn't mean it's any less akward though. So in my rambling, I think my main point is that I don't want to be to any Sanders what I feel that maybe some of my mom's family is to me. So if I ticked you off or stepped in your toes or said something you don't like....I'm sorry. I don't hurt peoples feelings on purpose, so if I do so I'm unaware of it. Just tell me and I am big enough to make it right. Oh boy. I sure do like to open my mouth don't I? Blame my mother for being so quiet. I had to learn very early how to speak up and it's now an unfortunate habit I can not stop. LOL. JK.